Corneil Willets got a head like a big brown kickball, and it wobble and bounce on his neck when he get excited. Right now he swinging on them playground swings, and even though he swinging forward and back, his head going right-left-up-down. He talking the whole time, too, but I ain't following half of what he say cause sometime he talking from one side, sometime the other.

"So then that knappy-head girl say, 'Boy, I know you ain't saying nothing to me,' and he say, 'You know I am,' and I say, 'Girl, you better believe he don't play,' and Pipe say, 'That right, I don't,' and then--Dreeka, you listening?"

"Sure," I say. "I just don't see who all you talking bout."

This make him angry, and his head circle faster than normal. "I talking bout Pipe and that nasty-mouth girl Felicia Jackson. I talking bout the same folks I been talking bout. You stupid or something, girl?"

"Boy, you talking too fast bout he say, she say, I say, we say. How I suppose know who he-I-she is?"

Corneil pull his legs way in on the backswing, let them out on the front and jump. He fly way up in the air, come down steady on both legs, thrust his arms in the air and his head back and do a bow. "You'd know if you was listening."

I start to say something smart, then think bout how Corneil just gone sulk and whine all day til I give in and let him tell his story. Men all like that, is what my sister Latasha say. They got to be right, got to have somebody tell them they know what they talking bout even when they don't know nothing. "Boy, just start at the beginning and talk slow."

He tilt his big head sideways and grin. "So like I been said, I was over at them ball courts at Benton Middle, and Felicia Jackson come up, look round for who she gone start in on, and start talking my ear off bout 'Pipe one ugly black boy can't play no ball,' and Pipe hear his name, he come up and she keep on, and he say he gone knock her upside her head, and she say, 'Go on then, boy, hit me,' and he make like he gone do it. She look him straight in the eye, don't move when he swing his hand. She don't move an inch. Pipe, he just shake his head, say, 'Girl, you out your mind,' and go back to playing ball."

"He right," I say. "That girl crazy. Crazy-stupid, talk all that junk to a big ol boy like that." Pipe like thirteen year old and in the sixth grade. He got wide shoulder and a thick neck, a deep man-voice like them kind boys my sisters at Booker High go with. He smooth, that what he is.

Corneil turn, look at me hard. "She crazy. But she ain't stupid. If he'd hit her she'd be stupid. She tough is what she is. She don't back down to nobody."

I look at Corneil. He not the biggest or fastest boy in fourth grade, and like I been said, he funny looking. He get pushed round by all them big boys, even some of them girls, too, til I told them I gone whup them, they don't leave him be. "Boy, you the one that stupid. He ain't hit her cause she was a girl, not cause she run her big fat mouth."

Corneil let his head fall to the side. "Maybe. Maybe you don't know it all."

"Maybe, boy, I know more than you."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

I grin. "Don't."

"Do," he say, then he look at me, think bout what he said, and bust out laughing.

"Come on," I say, and start across the playground for Wiggins road.

"Where we going?" Corneil not moving yet.

"Papa Red Store," I say, patting my pocket so he can hear my quarters jingle.

"Ooooweee girl, you got you some money," Corneil say, hopping to catch up. "What you gone get me?"

"Gone get you a lot," I call over my shoulder. "Whole lot of nothing."

*

Big Red store probably been painted before, but whatever color they put on sure ain't there now. It just kind of wood color, with one big ol white sign over the door that say, simply, "Store." There a bell on the door so folks can't come in or get out without Big Red knowing, and he don't miss much anyhow. Big Red got his name cause he like seven feet tall and got Choctaw in him, though what 'red' have to do with it I don't know, cause Big Red skin yellow-brown like dust. His face long and narrow, and his hair gone gray cept his sideburns white. Don't nobody mess with Big Red. Story I heard was Jermanique cousin Jerry try run out the door with a bag of hot chips, and Red run out the street and chase him down fore he made the corner. Folks say he took that boy head, put it into a fence. Right on through it.

When we inside Big Red sitting back the counter watching a little black TV, and he don't seem to notice us even though you know he got to have heard the bell. He like a statue or something, he so big and solid and still. There all kind things in Big Red Store--medicine and beer, charcoal for to barbecue, meat and even some squashes and vegetable stuff. What I want is candy and hot chips, which Big Red keep in front on wire racks. I look at the foil bags of chips, the bright color candy laid out in rows, then dig in my pocket and get the money Papa give me. There six dimes, two quarters, a nickel and four pennies.

"Let's see," I say. "Gone need me some chocolate. Some sour-kind candy. Some--"

"--thing for poor hungry Corneil," Corneil bust in, his mouth right by my ear.

"Some 'Shut up, boy, cause you talk too much,' for Corneil."

"Say you gone get me something."

"Say you gone stop running your fat mouth so I can figure what I gone buy with my money." Sometime the boy just too much. Problem is, Corneil my practice boyfriend. Not cause I like him. Just cause I gone need practice fore I get a real man.

Corneil shake his head and sigh. "This here what Reverend Winston been said bout how it go for the greedy and selfish." He puff out his chest, talk all low and deep like Reverend Winston do on Sunday. "And so the Bible tell us--" he take a long, long pause for no reason, like Reverend Winston always do, "to do right. It tell us: give onto our neighbor our Daily Bread. And so I say onto you, give Corneil his daily hot chips, for that be my eternal will."

"Mmm hmm," I say. Corneil do a pretty good Reverend Winston. He always do voices and thing like that, which another reason don't nobody give him no respect. I reach out and get a bag of Sour Gummy Worms, check that price tag and add what I got. Five cent left, which I gone save for later. "That mess ain't nowhere in no holy book."

"Book of Corneil, 10:5," he say.

"And Reverend Winston don't share nothing with nobody. You seen that man Escalade?"

Corneil eye catch the comic rack at the counter and he start for it, say, "Don't blame me when the devil take you, girl."

"You the one the devil gone take, talk bout the Bible say buy Corneil hot chips."

He shake his head, pull out a Superman comic and flip the pages. Big Red shift in his chair.

"Don't bend the pages."

"No sir," Corneil say. He flip through, hold up a picture of Superman with two big ol black thug under his big muscle-arm, point at the one who got gold earring and a little beard.

"Here your papa getting his butt beat."

I look closer. Actually, it do look like Papa. Papa got that same long jaw and little beard. "No white dude wearing no red underwear gone lay hands on my Papa."

"Put that back if you ain't buying it," Big Red say, and you can tell he ain't playing.

Corneil close the comic and set it carefully on the rack. "Sorry, sir."

Big Red shake his head, look back at his TV.

"I gone take all day."

Corneil shake his head, stomp out the door and disappear round the corner. He just being foolish, and I know he waiting there in the shade. Latasha say that the way it is with men, that they got to make they point, stomp and fuss and holler while the woman take care of they business.

I count the money out, get Corneil hot chips and my Sour Worms, and set my things on the counter front of Big Red. "This all I gone need."

*

Corneil got his mouth full of hot chips and my mouth all pucker-up from gummy worms by the time we back to Hanna Street. Sky dark-cloudy and still and feel too close, like it pushing down. We get over by that wreck where them raggedy Warners live, and Serenity and Charlie on the porch. She got her arm round his shoulders like she the boy mama or something. Corneil wave at them. The girl Serenity who in our grade lift her hand a little, then let it fall when she see it me. Got her well-trained. Don't like that girl. "Boy, why you waving at them stanky children?"

Corneil look at me, stuff hot chips in his mouth. "She in my class," he say. "She ain't so bad."

"Ain't so bad?" I say. "Boy, you know what Latasha say his momma do?"

Corneil shake his head.

"She say that Warner woman do the wild thing for money."

"The what?"

I shake my head in disgust. "Boy, she do it."

"Ohhh," he say. "it."

"It."

Corneil get an odd look on his face. Then he say, "That ain't nothing."

"What you mean?"

He blink, look at me. "Know how I was talking bout Felicia?"

"Sure, boy. She your hero."

"Naw," he say. He stop on the sidewalk, look all round with his bobble head as if he think somebody care what he gone say. "Well, you know that man John-John live next door?"

"Sure," I say. "He go with Dede, Felicia mama."

He nod his head. "Mmmhmm. And he do it with Felicia."

"It?" I say. And suddenly, thinking bout that my face get red and I feel kind of sick and hot all at once. Corneil look pleased with hisself.

"That her mama boyfriend. That--that wrong. How you know, boy?"

"Cause I can hear them. They do it after school on Wednesday and Friday. If you out back my house it easy for to hear them."

"What it sound like?"

Corneil look serious. "Not like it sound on TV. If they ain't music playing, it all quiet. She don't never make no noise. He go uhhhh, uhhhh, and that bout it."

"Boy," I say, "if she don't make no noise, how you know it her?"

Now his face go red, and he shake his head.

"How?"

He turn his head, look at the sidewalk. "Cause I can see in the window."

I start to open my mouth, close it. Don't none of it seem real, but if there one thing Corneil can't do, it's lie. Which mean it must be true.

*

All week, all I can think bout is John-John and Felicia. Three time at dinner Papa had asked me for salt, and I ain't paid no attention til he hit the table, and say, "Shandreeka, wake up!" I don't never cross Papa like that, I usually his favorite little angel. Mama, she ask me can I help her do the dishes, and I say yes and then forget til she come get me, and she not happy. Latasha even have to go back and tell me what happen at the end of all our shows, saying, 'Dreeka, you lost on some boy or something?' I tell her yes, that all, I crushing on some boy, which make sense to her cause all she do is crush on boys. She laugh, take me in the bathroom and put some eye-makeup and lash stuff and lip gloss on me, and say how I look pretty now, that now every boy will want me. When I look in the mirror it just seem like me--braids gone a little loose, a nose that too big, and my eyes all paint up. Course I tell her thanks, and ask can she do it for me again, cause I know this a special thing girls do. As soon as she gone I wash it all off before Mama see, cause I know Mama think I too young. All the time, all I can think is how a big grown man like that--and John-John big, six-foot maybe, with all kind blotchy skin and his face all scruffy--look without no clothes on. What his leg and hip look like with nothing on them, what his thing do. How any of it work.

Finally, I find Corneil at school, tell him I got to see. He get all scared. "What if he see us?" Corneil say. "What if you all 'aaaahhh' or screaming like a girl or something?"

I lift my hand, step toward Corneil. "Who can take who, boy?"

Corneil blink. It not like me to call him out. Finally he shake his head. "We try on Wednesday," he say. "We try. But we gone be careful."

Waiting for Wednesday, it seem like time don't move. Seem like nothing matter cept for what gone come. At night, I dream bout John-John, and sometime I Felicia in the dream, and he touch the side of my face and his fingers soft. At recess I watch Shasprine. She the same grade as me, in Corneil class with that China-man teacher come from California, but she twelve year old and tough. She play kickball with all them big boys, bean them with the ball and cuss them out til they give her what she want. Watching her, it all start to make sense. She not so grown, that girl, but she know something. It there in the way she rest all her weight on one leg when she stand, as if she always ready to leap, the way she hold her chin up high and proud and don't wait for nobody. She want something, she just go in and say it hers. She claim it.

*

On Wednesday I lost up in my head. Mrs. Brown call on me five time in class, and each time I give her a blank look and stare at my desk. Words don't seem to make no sense at all. Mrs. Brown bring me to her desk, ask me if I sick and need to go home, and I tell her I fine, I just having trouble today, that I be better tomorrow. She rub my back and say, "Ok, Shandreeka." I smile for her, and it reach my lips, but I ain't thinking bout she nice. Ain't thinking bout nothing but meeting Corneil.

When the bell ring I race for the gates, wait for Corneil for what seem like forever. Finally he come, and I grab him by his arm, pull him down the street toward Wiggins. He drag back, whine. "Let go my arm, girl!"

I let go. "Just--hurry," I say.

"Ain't no rush. She don't come for a while."

I don't care what he say, I want to get there. It a cool day, not raining but looking like it want to, black edges on gray clouds and no sign of sun. I walk fast up Wiggins, Corneil hopping to match me, on past that big round water tower and Big Red store. Corneil look at the store like he want to go in. "You got money?" he say.

I glare at him, and he slow his step. "I mean it, girl," he say. "If I gone take you, you gone get me something?"

I got money. Papa give me his change this morning. "When we come back."

Corneil nod and we keep on, turn off Wiggins near Corneil place. It almost country out here, the road dirt and a few trees filled with little black birds that always crying scree scree scree. Corneil house a little trailer one room with a chain fence. He nod at the place next door as we come to it. "That there John-John place." It look just like his house, and the wall for Corneil place so tight to John-John's it seem like you can't hardly walk around. Corneil pull the key out a chain round his neck, turn it in the door and we inside. "Mama don't come home till five," Corneil say.

Inside, there two white couches and a TV, a little flat table and, off in the corner, a cot. Corneil go to the TV, turn it on. It some white folks talking, them things Latasha and Mama call "Soaps," which stupid since they ain't no soap on the show. Maybe it cause them white folks got to stay real clean cause they always wearing fancy kind clothes. "You gone change it?" I say.

Corneil turn away, say, "We ain't got no cable."

"Ain't got no cable!"

Corneil shake his head. I bout to say more, but I get to looking round and it seem like they ain't much here. Corneil don't have no sisters like me, no brothers, and I ain't never heard bout his papa. Guess he ain't got much. "Well," I say. "We watch this, then."

Corneil look like he know I just being nice. He hurry to the kitchen, come back holding a can. "Look," he say. "You had this?"

It beer like Papa drink. "Sure, I had it." Which ain't true, but I ain't gone let Corneil know. The can say "Miller High-Life," and there some c-word so long I can't even try to say it.

Corneil look disappointed. I ain't surprised. "Well, you want some?"

"Sure." Corneil pop the top of the can, hand it to me. The can cool in my hand. I hold it near my nose, breath in. Smell kind of like pickle juice or cold greens. I smile, take a drink. It awful, like juice gone rotten, and I almost spit it out, force myself to swallow and hand the can back to Corneil. Don't know why nobody would drink that. "Thanks. That all I want."

Corneil nod, take the can and set it on the little table, then he go to the TV and turn the sound so it almost off. "Don't want to miss it when she come."

We sit there on the couch and watch them white folk on TV. The whole thing don't make no sense, all them people looking the same, all yellow-hair and pale and thin. All the women keep crying and carrying on, and all the men just kind of stand, or they scowl and stomp here and there. I start thinking bout John-John again, picturing him bare. Then there a knock at the door. I turn to Corneil. "Somebody coming here?"

Corneil shake his head. "That next door," he say quiet. He go and turn off the TV, then he motion for me to come, and I stand. Can hear voices now, quiet ones, a man that must be John-John and a girl voice that got to be Felicia. Corneil lead me past the kitchen counter to a window covered in slats. He peer through one of the gaps, then step to the side. "Look."

I stand on my tip-toe, lean to the gap. Can see right through the window into John-John house. There a white bed in the middle. Felicia standing, facing the window, and John-John bare back right in front. He wearing only some shorts, and as I watch he reach something I can't see that got to be the radio and suddenly rap music bumping, the whole room shaking with it, filling with it until I feel danger clear over in our room too. Felicia don't look like she usually do, her head kind of bowed and her shoulders folded in. Her face got a hard tight look. She still facing the window, and as I watch she reach and shrug off her shirt, unhook her bra, let her belt loose and step out her pants. She don't look like no woman, all curves like Mama when she undress--Felicia thin at the shoulder and hip and legs. She only in her underwear now, white with little yellow flowers, and she cross her arms like she cold, her hands covering each elbow. I feel something turn in me, something sick like shame, and I can't look away. John-John take her by the arms and push her facedown on the bed, move her further up so her legs off the bed and her feet dangle to the floor. His back thick with muscle, can see the lines of his shoulder blades ripple as he reach down, yank Felicia underpant off and run his hands along there. Then he pulling off his short, and I can see the two round melon of his buttcheeks as he kind of settle on top of her, and then you can't hardly see her at all. It just him swaying up and down, his butt jiggling and little rolls of flesh at his neck going tight and loose and tight and suddenly I sink down and everything spinning.

Then Corneil got this hand on my shoulder. "Dreeka. You ok?"

I'm not, but I nod anyway, and Corneil edge round me and peer through. I scoot to the side a little, but I still can't breathe. I keep picturing John-John bare back, the way Felicia disappear under him. Then I hear Corneil take in his breath loud, and a woman start screaming so high it don't even sound human until it break to cursing and yelling. "Ooooweee," he say. "It Dede."

"What?" I stand, and Corneil move to the side. Inside, everything gone crazy. Felicia eyes huge and she crying at the corner of the bed with a sheet pulled up halfway round her. John-John trying get his shorts back on, but Dede hitting him with her arms, her hands, and I can hear him yelling now, and then Dede turn to Felicia, her eyes so big and angry she like a cartoon, and she slap Felicia cross the face so hard Felicia fall off the bed. The music seem even louder than before, as if the thump of that beat driving what going on, making everybody act all out of control, and I feel fear rising in me, fear like somebody gone see us here, like they gone know we watching. "Let's go," I say to Corneil and make for the door, and he follow me out the road where there a green Chevy car that wasn't there. I start to run, and then I sprinting even though Corneil calling for me to slow down, racing down the road with Corneil huffing behind me until the beat of the rap music ain't there no more, until we turn the block and Corneil house and John-John house all the way out of sight.

*

Corneil and me walk and walk, and I can't get calm. We go all the way past the school, stand at the edge of them courts watching them Booker boys. They tall and grown, have they shirts off, some of them, even though it cloudy, and all I can see is John-John bent over Felicia with his wide bare back, and I afraid them players gone come for me and I make Corneil leave. We go on up Hanna and Uncle George, Mama brother, out pushing a mower on his lawn, and he say, "Hi Baby," to me and smile, and I stare at him, at the sweat all bead up on his bald head and his thick shoulders, and I can't even wave cause I still hearing that music, hearing Dede scream. We circle all round, and everywhere it don't feel safe. Finally Corneil say, "I hungry."

"Hungry?" Don't seem like the words make no sense.

Corneil look angry, and I realize I had promised him something from Big Red Store. Can't tell what he think bout this whole thing. Guess he seen this for a long time, now. Don't know how he can go back and watch. Don't make no sense. Maybe he mad cause now that Dede found out it seem like something gone change. "Let's go," I say, and turn and head for Big Red's. Anything better than staying still.

At Big Red's, Red sitting behind the counter like he always do, and there two Benton Middle boys inside. One of them Pipe, his uniform pants sagged low. He swaggering on through the aisles. The other boy skinny and got his ear pierced with a little silver ring. I keep looking at them and looking away, thinking bout what they hiding, what they can do. Corneil and I go to the candy rack, stand there together. Corneil not talking, just watching Pipe, and I remember what Corneil had said bout how Felicia win an argument with Pipe. I can't figure what I want to buy, just keep glancing at the boys. They eyeing us now. Then Big Red rumbling voice make us all turn. "You boys buying something?"

Pipe get a kind of half-grin on his face, and he turn and make for the front. "Guess I ain't," he say. As he pass me he look at me up and down, and a tingle break over me. The other boy follow, the door clanking as they leave. Corneil look at me hard. "You gone choose?" he say.

I shake my head. I don't think I can eat. I take a bag of hot chips and go and pay, toss Corneil the bag, and then we go on outside.

As we turn the building corner, Pipe and the other boy step in front of us. Corneil shrink back, and I do too. Pipe lean so close I can feel his warm breath on my ear. "Hey, girl. What your name?"

"Sha-Shandreeka," I say, my voice small.

"Shandreeka," he say. He lean in so he whispering now. "I like that name. I seen you watching me." Pipe lick his lips. "That right. You do like me. Ain't that right, Shandreeka?"

I stare at him. I thinking bout John-John now, thinking bout Felicia. Then I hear Corneil beside me. "Leave her be."

Pipe turn, look at Corneil like he had just seen him. "What you say, boy?"

Corneil standing with his hot chips in one hand, but he got his other hand in a fist. His head turned to the side with a stubborn set I ain't never seen before. "Leave her be," he repeat.

Pipe move so quick I don't hardly even see him, and then Corneil on the ground, and the other boy with the earring kicking him, Pipe kicking him, and I standing, can't make my voice work at all. Then it over, Corneil laying there moaning and I can see he bleeding from the mouth. His hot chips have fell to one side, and Pipe reach down and pick them up, toss them to the boy with the earring. "Here, D," he say, and the boy take the bag, pop it open and start eating.

I step away into the shadow of the building until my back to the wall. The bricks rough and hard. Corneil crying, but it seem far away, like it coming from another room. Pipe smile, lean in so there only the weight of his body and his sharp thick smell, and I can't see Corneil at all.